‘Is It Really Quality Over Quantity?’
Kids (And Adults!) Thrive With These Small Acts Of Love
A few years ago while listening to a Success Magazine interview, when asked about family time and priorities, Mark Cuban said he spends about 20 minutes a day with his kids each day.
“That’s it?” I thought. “20 minutes? Pfft…That’s not very much.”
Whenever interacting with my boys (or Jeff), those words pop into my head. Over the past few years, I’ve concluded that Cubes was onto something.
I was in grade 9 when I read my first self-help/relationship book.
It was ‘Love’ by Leo Buscgalia. Since for as long as I can remember, I’ve researched intrigued and have researched relationships, my habits, tricks and tips for life etc.
One of my favourite bits is the 20 second hug. Read one short breakdown of a study on it here: (interesting stuff!)
Another is a re-post I saw the other day on Facebook. It’s called the important 9 minutes.
It’s a constant work-in-progress toward being intentional about connecting with my kids (and husband) device-free with eye contact and asking more than yes/no questions when engaging in verbal conversation.
The 9 minute breakdown is this: A minute amount of time makes the biggest impact on a child in profound ways.
- The first 3 minutes after they wake
- The first 3 minutes when they return from school (or somewhere)
- The last 3 minutes before bed
Everyone has 9 minutes. It reminded me to stay intentional with those I love the most.
I also read a study once (and recently I saw a video experiment on it) that said even sitting beside, appropriately touching or hugging your child while watching T.V. or a movie has positive impacts on the brain and emotions.
Check out this short article on a few of those thoughts: https://childmind.org/.../benefits-watching-tv-young.../
Days are full, life is fast and busy, responsibilities and to-do’s tug at our every waking minute. However, with these small acts of love and remembering that the little things do matter, when time is sparse quality over quantity can win every time.
There are many other cool hacks to living like the ones in this blog and it pays in life-money to exercise them. If you have any great ones, please share.
At first when I heard it, 20 minutes of undivided attention seemed like nothing…like a joke really. But after I noticed how I went about my days, at the end of the evening I would realize (and still get caught up in it sometimes!) that I hadn’t had even a short meaningful conversation with my kids or Jeff.
Now my boys know the 20 second hug is always going to happen…even though they cringe, they secretly look forward to it. For those 9 minutes in each day, the boys and Jeff are the most exciting things/people in my world. And even if it’s just a few minutes to sit and chat with them (without a phone in either of our hands), connection happens on the daily.
It’s a must.
I need it, they need it, the world needs it.
Hugs, (a 20 second one that is…)