‘Know When’

Speak Up Or Be Silent

There’s a distinct difference between active waiting and passive waiting.

There’s also a difference between active silence and passive silence.

The difference…I like this version of explanation:

“Passive waiting can take the form of cynicism, complaining, or simply doing nothing. Active waiting, however, is a posture that seeks to cultivate habits that are focused on intentional preparation.”-ashleylaurendesignstudio.com

I’ve been all of the above in times of my life though I try my best to get out of the negative ruts quickly.

One form of passive waiting is defeating, dream-stealing and soul-sucking. Active waiting is hope-filled, action-based…including engagin in intentional rest and full of visualization or brainstorming.

Active silence is what’s known as a ‘soft skill’. It can be identified as “the skilled use of silence in communication. It included basics of communication such as listening and pausing speech for dramatic effect.” — simplicable.com

This article is enlightening…https://gabrielegoria.wordpress.com/active-silence/

The article above outlines passive silence in a positive light though sometimes it’s observed with more of a passive aggressive and hostile tone. A withdrawl of sorts, a control tactic.

I’ve realized my social awkwardness or silence is usually because my brain is going 100 miles an hour and I’m often thinking of ideas, ways to improve this or that or the plain ol’ to-do’ list.

But especially at times when I’m emotionally more vulnerable or just downright angry, I’ve found it useful to be aware of why I’m silent and what or if I need to do anything with the pause.

Silence can be caused by not wanting to or feeling like we can’t speak up in a situation.

Popular reasons for not speaking up when we probably should range from fear of judgement, fear of misunderstanding or fear of being wrong.

In PSYC 110 we all learn about how groups affect our behaviour, for example ‘groupthink’. “Groupthink is a phenomenon that occurs when a group of well-intentioned people make irrational or non-optimal decisions spurred by the urge to conform or the believe that dissent is impossible.”-psychologytoday.com

This article dives into group behaviour and is an interesting read…https://ecampusontario.pressbooks.pub/testbookje/chapter/the-psychology-of-groups

Choosing to speak aloud or not is a privilege we have living in Canada…to be able to share thoughts, to engage in respectful debate, to encourage one another. Lately, however, it seems people are losing, forgotten or maybe haven’t learned the ability to ask questions, listen, answer directly or not feel personally attacked when other’s language or understanding of a topic is different that our own.

Not at all exempt from these pitfalls, I’m particularly the worst when it comes to anything related to insecurities regarding my self-worth…most notably in relationship with my husband or others closest to me.

In this life of moment-by-moment learning, knowing when to speak up and when to be silent is a skill I continuously have to consider, work on and refine.

-Becky