“Please Talk Some Sense Into Her!”
The Unexpected Road — Part 3
“You won’t make it to deliver Luke”.
“Don’t you want to be around to care for the son you have?”
“Could you please talk some sense into her, she needs to change her mind about this- she won’t survive”.
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Those were a few of the statements and questions (truthfully I believe said our of concern, love and with much medical and scientific research behind it) over my decision to keep Luke and not abort him.
Against the medical advice from each and every one of my 5 specialists- he stayed put. I knew that Luke coming into our lives at that time was no accident.
I knew that had it not been for my pregnancy, I would not have paid attention to the lump until it was too late. I had always had bumpy dense boobs and even though this new lumpy was indeed different than the rest of the tissue, even when I had noticed it previously, cancer didn’t cross my mind- at all. I paid zero attention to the lump being an issue until I had to. Thanks Luke ;)
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There was much concern from my medical team. They were certain I would not survive to deliver him and we would both die or because of the chemotherapy, he would be chemically blasted, would not make it to term or come out healthy. I was basically yelled at (in love!) and called reckless for choosing to keep Luke and stay pregnant.
But the thought to abort Luke didn’t once cross my mind.
I knew God worked like this…in His ways that we don’t often understand in the moment. He did not give me cancer because He is always good all of the time but I do believe He allowed me to go through that time of refining fire.
So I made the choice to trust and not to fear. To move in truth and not by feelings. I chose faith and not to sit in the ‘what-if’s’.
I knew with everything in me that this was the way it was supposed to be.
Again, I knew they were all talking out of love and realistic scientific concerns, however, I knew that I knew that I knew…regardless if my decision didn’t make sense to anyone else.
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After I had the biopsy, it was a week full of appointments, bloodwork and tests.
I remember going to the lab for my pre-operative bloodwork. Obviously I still had hair, didn’t look sick, hadn’t had surgery and didn’t look pregnant yet.
The staff were running around busy like they always are and then I heard my name get called. The tech quickly glanced at her clip board to recite my name and birthdate to make sure she got the right gal and continued chatting with the co-worker beside her about work stuff. I’ll never forget the look on her face after she applied the tourniquet and went through the rest of my paperwork.
She said barely a word after that.
It was at that appointment when I began to realize more of my situation. I guess it’s not usual for a 29 year-old to have breast cancer while pregnant.
I could see the compassion in her eyes…in her (now) quiet stillness.
I nodded and thanked her for doing her job.
Apparently it was important to get the lump out as soon as possible so upon leaving that clinical area, I headed down the hall straight to the anesthetist for my pre-surgical check-up.
To be continued…