‘Well That Sucked’

The Unexpected Road — Part 4

After that short week of appointments and tests, it was time to go under.

I packed my bag for the few nights’ stay at the hospital and showed up to admitting bright and early (with no makeup, nail polish or jewelry of course).

IVs can always prove to be a doozy no matter how many times you get them depending on skill of the needle holder. A few pokes and bruises later, we were good.

I had thoughts about what my chest would feel like physically post-surgery not having a breast there anymore and I had concerns about how long I would have to stay in the hospital. Also, I hadn’t had a drain before so I wondered how it would be to have to drain it and sleep with it. Then there were marital sore spots…that part I’ll leave in the past.

Nervousness toward the actual surgery, though, wasn’t one of the feelings I had.

Getting put under is kinda relaxing albeit chilly when you are only dressed in a thin gown and your birthday suit. The operating room can be on the cool side but before you know it, take in those one or two breaths from the sleepy drug-filled O2 mask and it’s off to la la land.

Waking up, however, (depending on the concoction mixed for you) is whole other story.

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Waking up I felt like complete garbage.

My body hates chemicals and whatever that particular anesthesia was combined with fentanyl topped the list of all time vomit-inducing drugs.

After having your chest cut up and parts taken off/out, it doesn’t feel great on the area to continually heave and be crunched over.

(Having had numerous surgeries now, my latest mixture last year was amazing and I was barely nauseous…I’m going to find out what it was and ask to have it for the next one coming up soon.)

Many women I know who have had a mastectomy found the pain to be reasonably manageable. I feel I have a reasonably high pain tolerance so I wasn’t sure what my deal was with that surgery because it sucked-badly.

Maybe it was because I had enlarged, extra vascular and growing breast-feeding boobs or maybe it was because the surgeons took out a ton of lymph nodes and cut up the entire area? Either way, the first while after surgery was some of the worst pain I had ever experienced in my life.

Immediately post-surgery I caved and took all the morphine but after a bit I decided I should probably lay off and just took regular Tylenol. Personally I always refuse the stronger stuff like Tylenol with Codeine because any day of the week I would rather feel some pain than feel spaced out and gross.

A bunch of Booster Juices, cups of crushed ice and orange popsicles later, I got to leave the hospital.

Again…insert aforementioned allusion to marital issues here and fast forward to just before my first round of chemo.

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I had to wait six weeks after surgery to be able to start chemotherapy.

During that time, I got a PICC line put in, had more appointments, had more tests, kept packing lunches and caring for Braden, kept doing normal getting-ready-for-baby tasks, kept doing the house stuff and had to get life in order to start the next phase of treatment.

To be continued…

-Becky